Diary Entry #3: I'm smiling again!

 You have no idea how good it felt to see my smile again.. I felt pretty again , and incredible ... just really full of life and optimism!

So! I am finishing up all my courses to become a lifeguard at the end of August, and if all goes well... I will finally be employed at the end of September! woo hoo!

I have so many things I want to buy!! :

1. Professional camera.. yes I want one ha ha.

2. A new winter hat ... I have one in mind

3. TICKETS TO EUROPE NEXT SUMMER! YES IT IS HAPPENING!!!

4. Of course some new clothes, but I already went shopping

5. AND some more smexi heels .

I just took in a deep breath, because it feels nice to have your life organized.. and of course everything is easier in the summer. I have been working out for a couple months now, and wow... I can pull out a 180 pound male out of the pool .. by myself. Nice thing about my arms is that no matter how strong I will get, they will always be small and feminine , a trait I am proud of. ha haa...

Seriously to those who do not work out, I suggest you do! It feels so good, and such a confidence boost... especially when you're able to swim 800 metres in 10 minutes.

I've been making new friends... meeting new guys , ha ha .. and everything seems just in place. i am having a great summer. I FEEL SO AMAZING!

Sorry, I just said that out loud and thought it was worth typing . Who ever is reading this , you should get busy and get out there!

wow, all this time I thought my life was on pause... but really I am the one who's just sitting here while life is running .. apparently "waiting" for something.

Life lesson right there: don't wait, do. I'm active, I'm achieving, I'm on the move.

PS.

I have an exam tomorrow... wish me luck?

Until next time.

Kat!

Inner Beauty

Women, girls .. females , who don't feel beautiful or lack confidence, always try to take shortcuts into making their outer appearance more beautiful. big mistake ladies! Where does your outer beauty come from? ...... inner beauty of course!

Alright, first of all, if you are a woman ... or man who is overweight, what do you think you should do? I have seen this happening so many times!

"... I'll stop eating"

"... ummm, it's okay! I'll go to the gym tomorrow"

"... maybe diet pills?"

forget about it

Life has no shortcuts! ... well there are, but you will fail. Harsh, I know. If you want something done, then do it right. Start working your body! Your body needs to move, because you have to keep everything flowing, and to work out your heart. Don't skip meals! Eat healthier!
This will cut down your calories by a lot, but you shouldn't even care... because you won't be counting calories... only freaks do that who obsess over their weight... RIGHT?

 This all leads back to my article, "Do you love yourself?" . Well do you? because if you're slacking away, eating ketchup flavoured chips on the couch, watching Oprah all day ... I would say otherwise.

Our world has evolved ... maybe you would of done great in the 80's maybe the 90's , being the thicker individual ; but right now, slim is in! Having a healthy glow, with a radiant smile, is in! Having healthy curves, and a nice firm buttocks, is... yeah... IN!
If you want to be beautiful, fix your inner beauty first. Everything comes from something, and being beautiful, sexy, or just plain pretty comes from inside... being confident and sure of who you are.  

Now of course, not every person is the same, some people are born with big bone structures.. that's understandable .... but not an excuse. You should still be working on you.

Healthy, Beautiful and Radiant.

Now take a look at these ladies on the left. What do you see? 

Healthy women!

Skeleton

Now look at this 'model' on the left. What do you see?

A freaking skeleton!

 I'm not telling you to weight 80 pounds, what I am telling you is to be healthy, because it does prevail.

Second thing I would like to mention, is doing the things you love! Don't let anyone stop you ... I mean why should they, you're always first on your list. Whether it's painting, or playing an instrument, jogging, kite flying (ha ha) , or something crazy like swimming with sharks. It's your hobby, pursuit it!

This will make you feel good, important... and really it will keep you active. Which choice is better.. sitting on the computer all day, or going out doing something you're interested in. I mean the computer is great... for about an hour , but I mostly spend my days now doing what I want to do.

Take control of things! This is your life! Bring out your inner beauty, show the world what you can do! No-one is going to read your mind, or accidentally see what you are capable of! SHOW OFF!! Be cocky, show everyone that you're special. show the world what you can do.

inner beauty  really, think about it.

Until next time.

Kat!

It's Usher baby!!

Hello bloggers and readers !!

I have nothing to say today, because my mind is completely occupied , (FYI, I had to think of the word 'occupied' for a few minutes... SEE!) by USHER, and his new song : DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love , feat. Pitbull.

Visit the youtube video by pressing : Usher to take a listen!

For those who don't know, I love music, and I loove dancing ;)!

Ugh, I'm listening to it right now ha ha ha .

Anyway readers, have a good one , and

keep it live.

p.s

like the pic?

Until next time.

Kat!

Stories to tell.

Her champagne glass spread across the floor, interupting the silence that was held for so long.She had felt like someone drew every word from her lips, making her voice useless. Her head displayed blank pictures and her eyes crystalized, as they watched. Without any notice, the heart panicked; as if trying to escape its captivity, the whole room heard its knocking. Feeling dozens of eyes crawling at every inch of her skin, she raised her thin arms to brush back her cut hair. Before her fingers could reach the neck, her legs collapsed making her entire body drop down. Her eyes, still with the frozen view, watched her blood glide across the floor, and the running feet towards her numb body. With the last panicked knock of her heart, her eyes closed.

Until next time.

Kat!

Diary Entry #2: mmm... so tired

OMG! Yes ... it is finally happening! the day has finally came!! 12th of august. I know you have no idea what I am talking about ... but this is the day my dad goes back , officially done his vacation, (he doesn't live with us... don't sweat the details) .

Anyway! so if you have read my first diary entry, you will know that my dad doesn't let me out and hasn't allowed me to go out for most of the summer; so you can imagine how happy I am.

It will feel so good to go back to normal ! Doing what I want... when I want ... it's just great.
Too bad I am completely tired, and am barely able to come up ideas for this diary entry, to enjoy this.
I woke up at 6 in the morning today because I am training my brother to swim , (don't worry I was on a competitive team for 3 years) . It went alright, but now I am hungry, sleepy and absolutely grumpy. The reason why I want to whip him into shape is because he was accepted into the navy! All of us are really excited for him! But yeh, so I am just helping him out .
Excuse my dull tone, but I think I am going to go take a nap ... oh and excuse me for any typos during this entry.
Until next time.
Kat!

Let it go

In my short years, so far... regret is ultimately one of the worst feelings I have ever felt.

You ask yourself why you did it, how you could do it, what in the world were you thinking...

But IT , is gone now.. way over there in the past, behind that lamp and the bookshelf, collecting dust as it is being forgotten . It's gone !

A mistake that most people make , is over-think about things . Life isn't that complicated, unless you make it complicated, (unorganized, dirty, etc) . If you keep thinking about it, making it more complicated than it seems to be, then I promise you, that you will most likely take forever to get over it. Let it go! You made a mistake in your life.. whether it's something small as being mean to someone, or something big like drugs/sex . Everyone takes a wrong turn in their life, so don't feel stupid and lost, because everyone else has been there too. YOU ARE NOT stupid and completely clueless, but just you.
I know, forgetting is the hardest part; it's easier said than done, but here's a thought:

People around you will forget if you stop reminding them about it.. by talking to them, and venting about your regrets and pain. YOU will forget about your wrong-doings if you stop talking about them... and when the odd person will ask about it simply reply "Huh? ... oh that? Yeah, what about it? " completely careless ... If you manage to do that, than you will feel better, stronger and on your way to recovery.
Regret, pshh... such a small part of your life. Do you have time to worry and stress about things? No! We're busy people ! Life is consistently moving, always moving , and we can't take breaks on the side! that's why you have to be as light as possible ... that of course excludes those little regrets.

Take one deep breath... like now... with me. breathe in...... and breathe out releasing all of it out.
Stay strong, solid and powerful.

Until next time.
Kat!

Do you love yourself?

Recently, I've gone through a minor bump .. and I was completely lost. I realized I had no inner strength, no 'girl power' , no energy or  even courage to step forward and to move on!

I loved 'it', more than I loved myself ... because I let it completely, entirely , destroy me.. and at the end I didn't care. I acted so stupid, and pathetic... it actually makes me sick to think about how I handled the situation.. seriously, ha ha wow.

I forgot who the most important person in my life was. The person who receives 100% of attention , love , treats , or gifts. I could turn my back on the whole world! if she needed my help . That person.. is myself. Could I be successful if I didn't love me? if I wasn't confident? if I looked at every other person and wished "... I wish that was me" 

NO!

Confidence is such a rare characteristic nowadays.  Some one came up to me and told me "You will be with yourself , your entire life ... so why not make the best out of it?"

I am learning to let go, trying to stop taking everything so seriously .. because i noticed teenagers are always trying to live the 'adult life' : with their boyfriends/girlfriends, sex leading to pregnancy, smoking.. and always complaining they have to quit, (and we all know that's never going to happen) , and list goes on. Why should I be curled up in a stress- ball all the time? Why should I care more about the person next to me than myself..? I may not even speak to this person in a year.

I improved myself, changed myself... literally . I threw out half of my clothes and replaced them with new ones.. I changed my hair, changed my appearance.. completely flushed out and reorganized my bedroom . I feel new, fresh.. and I promise you- nothing in hell beats this feeling.

Girls.. and even boys : ALWAYS go after what YOU want! There are millions and millions of people in the world , and noone will truly nourish , care and accept you! the way you would .

Make it, so everyone will wish that they were you. Make the best out of what you have.  

Ask yourself :

Do you love yourself?

Until next time .

Kat!

Diary Entry #1: Summer 2010... sucks.

So… I’m literally trapped in my home by my father during my summer vacation which is the main reason why I opened this blog.



Usually summer is supposed to be filled with fun, camping, beaches, trips .. all that good stuff; my summer so far has been utterly disastrous. I was unable to see my boyfriend for over a month because of my dad… but that resolved easily as he coldly dumped me. On facebook. Yeh. I know. Completely confused , I find out he was cheating on me with his ex. Feeling like a complete , self-absorbed loner , I sat in my bedroom for a week crying about how my life “sucks” . An amazing start for my summer of 2010.


So.. as I said before I’m not allowed to go out, but luckily I begged myself through to going out with my friends twice... this whole summer. I’ve been to the beach once, and went to the movies once. Now don’t think I’m some social outcast, with no social life.. just think… I have overly-protective parents… which will probably disapprove of online blogging as well. The only time I do go out in public is when I go to the gym, go out with my family, or… that’s it. It may not seem so bad to you , elderly readers .. and I know you're thinking “This is just the beginning , you have your whole life ahead of you” in your monotone speech , but seriously… Im tired of waiting until I’m 20 … I wanna enjoy things NOW!


“Why not speak to your parents about it? I’m sure they'll understand” .. No. They don’t. I've tried 100 times, and they’re pretty much solid with their decisions. Their way of shutting me up about it, is buying things for me, which is nice… and also hard to resist.

So here I am, dumped, alone, and officially bored .. typing a new post .

Did I mention it's thundering? Until next time .


Kat!